During pregnancy
Sex is considered safe during all stages of the pregnancy provided that you are not in a high risk group, ask a medical
professional for advice if you fall into this category or are worried.
Of course, just because sex is safe during most pregnancies, doesn't mean that your partner or you will necessarily want
to have it! Many expectant mothers find that their desire for sex fluctuates during certain stages in the pregnancy.
Also, many women find that sex becomes uncomfortable as their bodies get larger. You need to communicate with your partner
about your sexual relationship and try to understand that it is hard for a man to deal with the changes in your relationship.
It may help to talk about other ways to satisfy both your needs for intimacy, such as kissing, caressing, and holding each
other.
You also may need to experiment with other positions for sex to find those that are the most comfortable. Many women find
that they lose their desire and motivation for sex late in the pregnancy, not only because of their size but also because
they're preoccupied with the impending delivery and the excitement of becoming a new parent.
FAQ
Can sex harm my baby? - The short answer is No, not directly. Your baby is fully protected by the
amniotic sac (a thin-walled bag that holds the foetus and surrounding fluid) and the strong muscles of the uterus. There's
also a thick mucus plug that seals the cervix and helps guard against infection. The penis does not come into contact with
the foetus during sex.
Can intercourse or orgasm cause miscarriage or contractions? - In most cases normal, low-risk pregnancies,
the answer is no. The contractions that you may feel during and just after orgasm are entirely different from the contractions
associated with labour. However, it is better to check with your healthcare provider to make sure that your pregnancy falls
into the low-risk category. It is common for doctors to recommend that all women stop having sex during the final weeks of
pregnancy, because semen contains a chemical that may actually stimulate contractions.
Is it normal for my sex drive to increase or decrease during pregnancy? - You and your partner's
desire for sex are likely to increase or decrease as well. Some people feel even closer to their partner and enjoy the changes
in their bodies. Some men experience decreased desire because of fears about the burdens of parenthood, or concerns about
the wellbeing of both the mother and their unborn child. It is also difficult for some men to reconcile their partners identity
as a sexual being with their new emerging identity as an expectant mother, remember that communication with your partner is
so important try to explain your fears. If you have any concern talk them over with a health care professional and contact
a doctor immediately if you notice unusual symptoms after intercourse, such as pain, bleeding, or discharge, or if you experience
contractions that seem to continue after sex.
If your doctor, nurse-midwife, or other pregnancy health care provider anticipates or detects certain significant complications
with your pregnancy, he or she is likely to advice against sexual intercourse.
Position for sex whilst pregnant
Many people tend to prefer the missionary position for sex during pregnancy; it becomes a very difficult manoeuvre to perform
as the abdomen gets larger. So try some of these positions:
- Woman on top. This allows you to control the depth of penetration, and the majority of the movement. You can go as fast
or as slow as you'd like, while controlling the depth of the penis. This position works really well throughout pregnancy and
at the very end of pregnancy.
- Spooning. This position gets its name from the way spoons fit together in the drawer. Usually its best if the man is behind
allowing his penis to go between your thighs and enter you from behind. This creates no pressure on the abdomen, and allows
for a shallow penetration. Many women find this a very relaxing position for sex during pregnancy and it can be used throughout.
- Hands & Knees. This is a very good position for pregnant women again because of the lack of direct pressure on the
abdomen, although as you get larger your belly may actually rest on the bed. Some women find this difficult at the very end
of pregnancy, depending on how high they are able to hold their belly off the bed and still allow for penetration.
- Side lying, Lay on your side with your partner facing you, try pulling one leg up to allow room for your partner. This
can get tiring after a while, and may not be easy for the last part of pregnancy.
All of the above mentioned positions also allow for manual stimulation of the clitoris either by you or your partner. .
They also prevent the mother from lying on her back, which is not recommended after the fourth month of pregnancy. When you're
trying to think of a good position, try it, if it doesn't work stop. Creativity will be a lot of fun during pregnancy, and
it will probably carry over into your postpartum sex life as well, when creativity becomes important in a different way.
Sex after pregnancy
Your midwife will generally give you guidelines about sex after the birth of your child, this will depend on the type of
birth that you had. It is best to follow these guidelines and wait until it is safe to resume a normal sex life. It is also
worth pointing out that it is possible that it may take you some time before you feel ready to have sex again. Often
this is a subject that couples don't discuss but it is much better to talk about how you feel and allow your partner to express
himself, this can stop either of you from harbouring resentment.
