Natalie's Story
Like many other mothers I was so looking forward to having my baby. Me and my husband had planned the pregnancy after being
together for nearly ten years. My beautiful daughter was born in October and from the start I didn’t know how I felt
about her, she was a completely new person and had to get used to her. After two weeks I knew something wasn’t right
when I started to feel that I didn’t love her and regretted having her. I spoke to my health visitor on my first visit
from her and told her how I was feeling. Her reply to me was that I had been extremely brave to admit how I felt and that
I had done the right thing. She said it sounded like PND and to book in with my doctor which I did.
To cut a really long
story short I ended up taking medication and having counselling to help me cope with this illness. Over time I have come to
love my daughter very much and I would do absolutely anything for her which tells me I have bonded with her. But believe me
its took one year a lot of fighting and determination to get me to where I am now, its been a very bumpy ride but she’s
worth it. It does get better along the way it just takes time.
Max’s story
I remember that my major fear was that I was going totally and completely mad, that terrified me! I knew nothing about
P.N.D, except that I had it and I was totally amazed when I finally got my hands on some literature on P.N.D and discovered
all those symptoms were normal and not a sign of my mental collapse, and I thought to myself I wish I had known all this before,
then I wouldn’t have been so frightened, now as I look back I so wish that I had had to guts to tell someone how I really
felt.
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Cathy’s story
It was a long time before I realized what I had was Post Natal Depression. I thought I just wasn’t cut out to be
a mother, in charge of this baby who screamed all the time or to be more accurate who I felt screamed all the time. It was
really only when I went to the doctor and said I couldn’t cope with this that I realised there was something medically
wrong. I could no tell you what a relief it was to know that this thing had a name, and it wasn’t just me.
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Tracy’s story
Like many people when I got pregnant and I was not ready. Nine months later, following a very hard birth, my baby arrived
and I honestly did not know what to do. I felt totally miserable, but I did not want anybody to know. After coming home I
fell into a routine. The baby was fed and clean, but somewhere in this I was lost. I wanted somebody to tell me what was wrong
with me but at the same time how could I tell anybody that I couldn't cope. Why did I not want this baby? I continued to feel
this way for months. My partner knew that something was wrong, but didn't know what to do and so I felt totally alone. Get
help its not you!
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Sara’s story
I would like my son, to have a brother or sister, but one of my greatest fears is the prospect of going through months
of feeling low and crying every day, not wanting to socialise, etc.
To this day I will never forget my husband's reaction when I told him that I thought I had Post-Natal Depression and that
I had discussed this with my doctor. Because of the stigma attached to mental illness and his complete lack of understanding
of PND, he reacted by asking me whether it was a good idea for this to go on my medical records as it might affect my future
job prospects. This was extremely hurtful at the time, but I realise that he felt he had failed me and was responsible for
my illness. He later went and did a search on the internet to find out more about PND and by the time I eventually resorted
to antidepressants, he was understanding and supportive.
I have just finished a five-month course of antidepressants and wish I had started taking them a couple of months after
the birth. I was frightened that I might become dependent and also felt it was giving in and failing in some way. It wasn't
until I had been fighting depression for more than a year that I once again broke down during a visit to my health visitor,
who had the sense to literally make me see the doctor. He said "If you break your leg, we put it in plaster, this is just
the same, you have PND and these pills will make you better." He also explained that I would not be on them for the rest of
my life, only until I was better, they would make me feel my "old self" again.
My husband and I feel it is most important for the partner to be told, perhaps while mother and baby are in hospital after
labour or during a home visit by the midwife, how common PND is, how to recognise it and that there is successful treatment
available. This would help in two ways. The father would not feel responsible and guilty for the mother's tearful state and
also might be able to reassure her, as he would understand that this illness is something that will pass and can be treated.
I did receive a leaflet about PND while in hospital, but this is not the same as someone actually talking about it with you
and your partner.
