I knew that something was wrong. My partner was trying to hide the fact she was feeling unwell, so I asked her what was
wrong. She found it difficult to talk about it at first, so I asked our family to help as often as they could, thought she
just needed more help.
I found it hard not to feel rejected, as it seemed at the time as though she had no interest in me. I had no idea how long
the illness would last. I did not ask for advice although reflecting back, I wish I had. My partner was always tired and just
wanted to sleep, as if to hide away from the outside world. She did not want to go anywhere or do anything. I found it quite
a challenge, helping at home and taking care of my son, but I managed. I felt quite jealous at the attention she was receiving,
everyone was always asking how she was doing, never asking how I was coping or how I was feeling.
We spent quite a bit of time talking over the months and she eventually started to open up. There were days when I felt
so frustrated that I felt like telling her to pick herself up. Looking back, I think she was just looking for support and
to know that I was there for her. Recovery from the illness was gradual but with support and allowing her time to herself
and to talk she made a full recovery and back to the woman I know.
Pete’s Story
My partner and I had waited a very long time through infertility for our baby so she was very precious to
us. I could not wait for them to come home so that we could be one big happy family. For a while after the birth my wife was
in great, though very tired. Parents and friends were a great help and everything seemed fine.
As time passed things seemed to change. The baby was not sleeping well and keeping
us up all night. This wore us down. My wife gradually became very down in herself and got upset over very silly things. I
did not know what was happening. I dreaded coming home every evening to find her sitting crying. I tried to take time off
work to help but as I was self-employed I did not get paid if I did not work. It was becoming difficult to cope, trying to
make ends meet and worrying about my wife and new baby. I wondered what was happening to us. It was not something men talked
about with their mates down the pub. I did not know who or where to turn for help. How could I get my wife to accept help
when she would not even talk to me. I eventually opened up to my mum and she said it could PND I had heard of it but to be
honest I really knew nothing. I read a lot about the illness and after a few weeks I convinced my wife to go to get help,
she did and I am happy to say she has recovered, I wish I had know more sooner.
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