When the excitement of the birth has died down, you may both feel an anti-climax. In your partner this is as a result of
a huge change in hormone levels, many women feel teary and down for several days. You may end up feeling drained, completely
exhausted. Then, you've got to deal with all the friends and relatives who want to know what's happened and can't wait to
see your new bundle of joy. Despite their well-meaning calls and visits, this is a time for you, mum and your baby to get
used to each other. Try to be polite but firm with visitors it would be better to get the visits over as quickly as possible
so you can have quiet time to bond with your baby and catch up on the lost sleep. You can use their help though to catch up
with all the things that you have let slip so don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
Baby blues & Post natal depression
Learning to cope with the demands of a newborn and adjusting to being new parents can seem a bit daunting. It is common
to experience a short period of baby blues, usually a few weeks after the birth and it lasts a few weeks, but if this period
continues it can develop into a more serious condition know as
Post Natal Depression (PND).
Post natal depression affects around one in ten new mothers, the symptoms are similar to other forms
of depression. It can also affect you, you need to talk about your feelings together, as often as you can you will both benefit
and you'll both be aware of any negative emotions that could be a sign of needing help.
If you would like more info on PND and its symptoms click here. We also have some stories from women who have suffered, and overcome PND in the stories link on the main home page, you may find them helpful. It can be both difficult and
frustrating to live with someone who has PND, perhaps the most important thing is to recognise that someone suffering from
PND may need encouragement to seek help, and support to get it, read stories from men whose partners have suffered. They suggest that it is very important to help her to find
someone to talk to in depth, and reassure her that she is not going mad and that she will get better. Make sure she knows
that you will support her, and not abandon her.
Practical steps include helping her to get enough food, rest, and exercise and regular breaks form
caring for the baby. Try to ensure that she doesn’t spend much time alone to cope with the baby. A sense of isolation
can be the most stressful aspect of mothering. Support the idea that she deserves to have a daily treat, and enable her to
get it. Above all try to listen to how she feels and be patient.
Read
Dad's real life experiences of dealing with a newborn of a partner who is suffering post natal depression